Saturday, June 12, 2010

My Best Friend

Despite chalking up a string of corporate achievements, my best friend will leave his job in the coming months.

As news of his departure spreads afar, his staff officers lament the impending loss of a wonderful leader, peerless mentor and outstanding visionary. Indeed, his reign has no parallel because he has raised the bar to new heights. Whoever comes along with have big shoes to fill.

Rest assured! My best friend will leave his successor with a world-class organisation at the top of its game, staffed by highly-motivated staff officers who will walk over landmines for their boss because they all love and adore him. His NSFs bemoan their short tour of duty and wish it could stretch longer, for years even. It's no surprise because my best friend effortlessly exudes a charismatic pull on these boys. His peer group officers gush with pride whenever my best friend chairs meetings, avidly picking up every morsel of guidance and wise counsel. He engenders an almost homo-erotic loyalty among his officer peers that some will name their next born sons after him in his honour.

Indeed, my best friend has been a cheer leader in recent weeks, coaxing all his SOs to stay with the organisation and give their best. He is due to leave but is still very much on the ball and has had praise heaped on him by his superiors. He wants to make sure his successor inherits a tight ship with all systems and processes in place so his rock solid legacy can continue.

Under his stellar leadership, my best friend has built unbreakable bonds with stakeholders within his organisation as well as national typists. These typists sit at the edge of their seats in rapt attention when he speaks because the golden words of wisdom that leave his lips are the first draft of history. Scribes would jot down his quotes in their own blood if their pens ran dry as his wise counsel is sought after by the nation's heartlanders, who lap up every word that graces the pages they are written on.

Such is the privilege of working under his watch! His departure will be a great loss to the organisation and our dear nation. This corporate titan, leader of men, mentor to the young, faithful shepherd to the media, opinion leader, maker of history, master wordsmith, peerless wonder. I am proud to call him my best friend!



Anonymous said...

Mr Boey,

i must say that most of your writing is pretty good and does give us some insight into the opaque world of Defence in Singapore.

However, some of these low-blows really don't become you.

Why the need for such vindictive sarcasm? I understand you bear a personal grudge, but I think it detracts from the other more professional pieces on this site!

FinalFive said...

Low Blow? I think Anonymous here doesn't know who he's talking about.

This is the best piece by far - O I bemoan the loss of another too. HAHAHA

Ben Choong said...

I hope you will make a good new friend soon! :)

Anyway anonymous, a little flowery language IS fun ;)

FIVE-TWO said...

do you know who your new best friend is going to be?

Laremy said...

@Anonymous: I think it is more satire than sarcasm. There is some difference between the two.

Enter The Fist said...

A tantric literary (if not literal) screwing. The art of the Male Multiple Sarcasm!

Anonymous said...

wow.. Kim Jong-un better watch his back


Anonymous said...

Satire? More like pettiness, a woman scorned..

Anonymous said...

Love reading about handbags from Miss Boey

Inspired Poetry said...

Dangerous is a man with a deadly vengeance.
Armed with a mighty pen, a big black blog and a big black mole.
Victory he seeks, one post at a time.
In vain? Well, no one really knows.
Digging dirt is this man's forte as we know.

Battle cries ring out like church bells on a wedding day.
Only far sweeter, laced with flowers and dew.
Enticing they may be but the novelty soon wears thin.

The End.

Anonymous said...

Where is your "best friend" heading off to spread his new brand of excellence? I would like to notify my friends still in service to prepare his welcome, wherever he might go...

PS: Satire, like sarcasm is something which goes over the heads of most Singaporeans and is often lost/wasted on them...